Forever hold your peace ..

During the wedding ceremony, when the minister/preacher/priest comes to the part about, “If anyone has any reason why these two people should not marry, speak up now or forever hold your peace…” have this 4-to-6 year old boy running up the aisle yelling, “Daddy, daddy.”I understand from a friend who played this joke on a relative that it took almost an hour to get the wedding started again.

Short changed

A friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for pick up and return of the groom’s tux. After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either 3 or 4 sizes smaller or larger than the groom’s. Explain to the tux shop what you’re up to. Pick up the groom’s fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed. The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short.  Don’t reveal that you know anything as long as possible.

Wedding lottery

A man was surprised to hear from an old school friend of his asking if he would be the best man at his soon to be held wedding. They had not seen each other for a while and he did not really know that much about the bridegroom to be, all he remembered about him from school was that he was a great practical joker. With this in mind on the day of the wedding the best man got hold of the bridegrooms lottery ticket and noted down the numbers. As he was starting his best mans speech he said that he as well as many others followed the lottery and if no-one minded he was going to read out the winning numbers which had been called a few minutes ago, everyone duly took out their tickets checking the numbers as he called them out. He could see the bridegroom becoming more and more excited as he read out the numbers until at the end, up jumped the bridegroom yelling out that he won the lottery, he was rich, he ran round showing the ticket to all. His new bride said how wonderful as they were now rich, what do you mean we, laughed the bridegroom? This is my ticket!! I am rich, besides which I have been sleeping with your sister for the last two months, so saying he grabbed the sisters hand and left never to be seen again.