Wedding Jokes

Those Wanting to be Married

Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service. After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.  For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

‘Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?’  Father Henry requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

Best Man

A groom chose his pet dog as the best man for his wedding reports the Metro.  Paul Nock told his new wife Kelly years ago that he wanted Scooby by his side on their big day.  The health and safety training organiser, from Hull, said, ‘I was away working in Dubai when the wedding arrangements were made and didn’t think she would let it happen.  But when we got into the register office I turned round and there he was walking up the aisle, with the rings tied around his neck.’ The 27-year-old bride added: ‘It was a wonderful surprise.’

Wedding Anniversary Story

John wants to get his beautiful wife, Emma, something nice for their first wedding anniversary.  So he decides to buy her a mobile telephone.  Emma is excited, she loves her phone.  John shows her and explains to her all the different and varied features on the phone.

On Monday Emma goes shopping in the local supermarket. Her phone rings and it’s her husband, ‘Hi ya, Emma, ‘he says, ‘how do you like your new phone?’ Emma replies, ‘I just love it, it’s so small and light and your voice is clear as a bell, but there’s one feature that I really don’t understand though.’

‘What’s that, Emma?’ asks the husband.

‘How did you know that I was at Wal-Mart?’

2011 China Wedding Expo to Open in July

For the ten-year-old China Wedding Expo 2011(Autumn), the ten years represent a process full of difficulty, tortuousness and joy rather than a simple time frame.

Thanks to the strong support from people from all walks of life, the biannual event organized by Shanghai International Exhibition Co., Ltd has grown rapidly, with the number of exhibitors increasing to more than 600 from previous 100 and the exhibition space expanding to 75,000 square meters from previous less than 10,000 square meters. In addition, the number of visitors hits a new record of 150,000 this year.

China Wedding Expo 2011(Autumn) will be staged from July 7-10, 2011 at three venues simultaneously: INTEX Shanghai, ShanghaiMart and Shanghai Everbright Convention & Exhibition Centre. More than 600 exhibitors will display a variety of products during the event, including wedding dresses, themed clothes, children’s photography, make-up and accessories, wedding props, backgrounds for photography studios, photo albums and frames, theme photography samples and consulting training.

The Wedding Dress, Evening Dress and Groom’s Wear exhibition zone on the 1st floor at INTEX Shanghai shows the development direction of internationalization and branding. This year’s exhibition specially invites two heavy-weight international brands–French brand Ponuptia and Malaysian brand Adore Bridal Couture. With an extremely rich team consisting of professional wedding gown and evening dress designers, Adore Bridal Couture focuses on designing, producing and selling wedding gowns and evening dresses. It will exhibit high-end wedding gowns integrating Malaysian feelings with Asian identities to peers in China.

The Children’s Photography exhibition zone on the 2nd floor at INTEX Shanghai is expected to experience an extremely hot scene this year. Both the scale and the area of this year’s Children’s Photography exhibition zone expand over 15 percent from last year’s. The exhibition zone attracts nearly 10 South Korean children’s clothing brands with unique styles this year, in addition to the original high-quality children’s brands, including SNOOPY and YOYO.

The theme photography exhibition area will continue its focus on traditional wedding photography while striving to ensure the diversity of exhibits. In order to promote the development of portrait photography and be aligned with the industry’s growth trend, the exhibition area will bring together numerous high-cost, blockbuster real-life scenery themes and low-cost, high-return outdoor photography works to meet the diverse needs of the market. The event has attracted many foreign wedding photography brands and Chinese well-known photography studios, taking the quality of exhibits to a higher level, and will attach more importance to the quality of services by aggressively advancing the operation model which combines theme marketing and technical assistance, so as to boost the solid development of the industry.

With the rapid growth of the wedding photography industry, many photography studios are at a critical turning point, where they must not forget internal management and training while pursuing excellent performance. On the 7th floor of ShanghaiMart, exhibitors including Victor, Han Bang, Wise and Yan Hui will demonstrate how to effectively combine online marketing with traditional showroom planning, as well as how to manage retail sales and talent by using appropriate software, to ensure the smooth transformation of photography studios.

More particularly, to eliminate the trouble and inconvenience caused by the event that has been concurrently held at three venues for a long time, China Wedding Expo 2011(Autumn) will be relocated to Shanghai World Expo Exhibition and Convention Center (Shanghai World Expo Theme Pavilion) starting February 2012. Then all exhibitors will gather at the same pavilion which covers an area totaling 80,000 square meters. The new modern venue is believed to offer unique exhibition effects to exhibitors, while providing more convenient, one-stop purchase and professional buyer negotiation services to visitors.

New Trends for Mother of the Bride Dresses

The bride is naturally the center of attention on the wedding day, but the mother of the bride often finds herself in the spotlight during the ceremony. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to find truly graceful mother of the bride dresses. Watch the newest trends for you mom and find her the most suitable dress.

Current Mother of the Bride Trends

Today, many families don’t follow formal wedding traditions. It is quite common for both mothers to choose their outfits together. While mother of the bride dresses should be age appropriate, they shouldn’t downplay her natural beauty. If her dress is dowdy and matronly, it won’t reflect well on her daughter. The mother of the bride can dress stylishly and tastefully without compromising her personality.

Today’s fashion caters to individual body shape, taste and style. The trends today lean toward custom sleeves, hemlines and other small details. A dress that’s personalized to fit her individual shape will be most flattering on a mother of the bride. Of course, the dress needs to be age appropriate. Necklines that plunge too deeply, for example, should be avoided.

Fresh Ideas for Mother of the Bride Dresses

Not that long ago, dresses suited for mothers of the bride were not nearly as stylish and flattering as they are today. Mothers are no longer expected to be in the background on the wedding day. Today’s styles are chic and cater to a vast cross section of mothers. For this, we can thank designers who understand that the bride’s mother needs to look as or more stunning than the bridesmaids do, yet in a stylish and age appropriate way.

For example, conventional mother of the bride dresses were not strapless or off the shoulder. But depending on body shape and comfort levels, this is perfectly acceptable today. The mother of the bride can always use a shawl or wrap for a bit more coverage and formality during the ceremony.

Stunning Mother of the Bride Dresses

For many individuals, your mother is one of the most important people in your life. As you take strides towards a life of adventure and true happiness with your new spouse, your mother will always be there to love, support, and protect you. For your wedding, show your mother how thankful you are for all that she has done, and dress her accordingly for one of the most memorable days of your lives. Finding an elegantly beautiful mother of the bride dress is a great way to show her how much you care.

Mother of the Bride Dress Colors and Styles

The bride’s mother should be careful to keep the balance between fashion trends, glamour and color. Wearing a color that will draw too much attention is not suitable, however wearing a color that complements the mother of the bride’s skin tone while blending in with the wedding theme is perfect.

Unless otherwise specified by the bride, there are certain colors that should be avoided, like cream, white and black for instance. If these colors are incorporated, it’s best for them to take the form of a tasteful floral print or classic stripe.

Also the bride’s mother should be focused on elegance and style. So she needs to carefully evaluate her body shape and personal preferences before deciding which cut is best for her. There are cuts and styles that can enhance her best features while drawing attention away from other areas to make her feel confident and comfortable.

Remember that the bride’s mother is very busy on the wedding day. With this in mind, her outfit should be easy to move around in and be able to withstand the wear and tear of the day. Maintaining balance between fashion, comfort and style is crucial is she wants to look stunning from start to finish.

Mother of the Bride Dress Should Match the Theme of the Wedding

The theme of your wedding is another factor that will affect the style of dress you choose for the mother of the bride. Typically for extremely formal weddings that are held at night or fancy weddings held in the late afternoon, dresses will be free flowing, elegant, long and loose fitting. While it is important for the mother of the bride to look exceptionally elegant in her chosen dress, it is also imperative to remember that the dress should not be longer or lower cut than the dress of the bride.

Many brides also choose to have the mother of the bride gown match similarly to the mother of the groom dress in attempts to tie in the entire theme of your wedding. No matter what dress you choose, your mother will be gleaming with joy on the day of your wedding as she watches her child embrace true love.

Looking for Plus Size Wedding Dresses

Are you still worry about your wedding day dresses for most of the wedding dresses is slim skinny ? However, this is not always the case. What if you are not that gifted in terms of body size? What if you are not slim? Don’t you have the chance to look fabulous on your wedding day anymore? Here comes the solution: plus size wedding dresses.

Plus size wedding dresses are not standard wedding gowns. They are not always found at the most popular shops. You should be able to have many fun and extremely little dissatisfaction when you are purchasing for stylish plus size wedding dresses.

It’s hard to find the top plus size wedding dresses, and a small number of years ago plus size wedding dresses were most likely found in chiffon or satin with heavy chatters. This means that shortly to be brides could not discover a trendy plus size wedding dress. Designers were not creating dresses for plus sizes as a large amount and with the high price of materials they were not willing to create top dresses in the plus size.

There is even convention shops that will design a dress particularly for you and that is a grand benefit since no one else will ever wear the similar dress as you. A lot of these convention stores and designers can be found right online or you can visit them individually.

It’s not essential for you to cover your shape and there are even personal consultants that will assist you know what your top features are. Everyone has top skin tone and it would be incorrect for you to cover them. The incorrect dress could make you seem less gorgeous than you are since it will show off the skin tone you don’t want to show off. The right plus size wedding dresses will show off your top features and create everyone stop and say WOW!

Looking for plus size wedding dresses should not be a difficult thing and it should be lots of excitement. If you can give it you should have a dress designed particularly for you therefore that you find precisely what you desire from a professional that recognizes just how to design your wedding dresses to show off your top qualities.

Cosplay Lolita

Nowadays lolita has become a fashion culture that pretends to be more “cute” or “fair” compared with “sexy.” The fashion itself has no clear origins, but is speculated to have begun in the 1970s, when popular Japanese brands such as Casa Rosada, Milk, and Angelic Pretty started out with clothes that are very similar to Lolita.

Lolita fashion began to gain popularity in the 1990s when the bands that don clothes. Like these famous brands, Eva Mao, Lolita Lempicka, and Kenzo, all add their design Lolita style clothing and belief.

Although most appear in cosplays use Lolita, the Lolita culture fans do not like the idea that being called a “suit.” cosplay lolita features sweet, sexy, noble, and is different from the gothic lolita comes with death, the mystery and terror.

Since the fashion pieces, however, require very sophisticated materials and often come in more than one set of one piece, lolita dresses are very expensive. This is why most of the cosplayers Lolita choose to create their own clothes.

Order online is great for the money saved. China has lots of clothes number of store huge inventory cosplay lolita costumes and imitations can be sold at lower prices. You can visit Btbone.com if you have the requirement.

Lolita culture is generally associated with the Victorian and Rococo periods, lolita fans argue that clothing should be of the same materials as the elegance and beauty.

Lolita cosplayers, however, put Lolita outfits that are, without doubt, more raw. Cosplay Lolita is associated with clothes that are put together casually and is characterized by many rough lace and satin. Have a great anime like nurses or maids. That is, like most defenders of lolita to point out, quite the contrary to the concept of lolita which mostly aims to ‘mono’ and sensuality.

Brand and Katy Perry Deny Marriage is in Trouble

 

Katy Perry and Russell Brand have scotched rumours their marriage is on the rocks.

The 26-year-old Firework singer and the 36 years old comedian, who tied the knot in India last October, have been the subject of speculation they are set to split as they have been spending so much time apart.  Recent rumors suggested that the two may not make it that far and are considering a trial separation.

Not quite, Perry tweeted. “Just cause we don’t flaunt our relationship doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it,” the 26-year-old singer wrote. “Privacy is our luxury.”

Of course, it’s just one of many rumors that the two are struggling to keep their marriage together after tying the knot last October. Earlier in the year arrived allegations that Perry was seeking a marriage counselor, and after that came gossip that she had cheated on Brand before their wedding, claims that had Perry reportedly seek legal action.

For his part, Russell Brand is backing up the wife. “You tell em Mrs Brand!” the comedian and actor tweeted. “In Britain we’re currently dismantling the scum media so I’m not tuned in to their brain-farting.”

Katy has been on her California Dreams world tour since February while Russell is currently filming Rock Of Ages with Tom Cruise in Miami.

Clothing Jokes

Well-dressed

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?

His wife is good at picking out clothes.

Nice Bike

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, “Hey nice bike! Where did you get it?”

“Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says ‘You can have anything you want!'”

“Good choice,” says the first, “her clothes wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”

Young Woman And Her Lover

As they were walking down the street, the young woman said to her lover, “Why won’t you buy me a fur coat? I’m so cold.”

Her boyfriend sniffed, “If you knew the answer, why’d you bother asking?”

Appealing

“And if I didn’t wear a halter top and tight jeans,” asked the girl, “would you still find me appealing?”

“Let’s find out,” the man replied gamely.

Dating With Southern Girl

Dating the first southern girl he’d ever known, the Yankee was surprised when she greeted him at the door in the lowest-cut gown he’d ever seen.

“Th-that’s a lovely dress,” he stuttered, his eyes on her ample bosom. “Sho’ nough,” she replied. To which he answered, “I’ll say”.

Unique Garment

Then there was the furrier who, for a very special client, crossed a mink with a gorilla to produce a unique garment. The fur was spectacular, but, alas, the sleeves were too long.

Tight Dress

As the bus pulled up, Angie realized she was going to have a difficult time getting on. Her dress was too tight for her to step up, her hands were full of packages, and the line of people behind her did not seem to be in a charitable mood.

She realized that the best thing to do was to try to loosen her dress so, with great effort, she stretched her hand behind her and pulled the zipper down halfway. When that didn’t seem to help, she pulled it down the rest of the way.

Just then the bus pulled up and, still unable to ascend, she was both shocked and offended when a man standing behind her picked her up and put her on the bus.

Turning, she growled, “What right did you have to touch me?”

The man climbed on and said, “Well, after you pulled my fly down I kind of figured we were good friends.”

Fashion Rules Tend to Be Personal

With more fashion images, advice and information flowing into our lives than ever before from reality television shows, grocery-store scandal sheets, online authorities and now fashion magazines, it seems preposterous that we still don’t know what to wear.

“What should I wear today?” It’s a daily quandary for nearly everyone living in modern society.

Blame the sartorial confusion on the disappearance of stringent social dress codes that were universally accepted before the counterculture revolution of the 1960s. It was then, historians say, when the rules for what to wear began to disintegrate.

Despite the lack of fashion dress codes, any fashion maven will tell you expectations still exist for attending events and happenings that often specifically call for black-tie attire, country-club casual or formal dress. Church weddings, temple services, some restaurants and private clubs still maintain dress specifications.

Gina Vernaci, vice president of theatricals for Playhouse Square, is a 27-year veteran of the organization and remembers a time when she wore a dress to a St. Louis Cardinals baseball game. “The world has changed, and we have changed; we don’t have an established dress code at the theaters anymore,” Vernaci says.

She adds that the performing arts tend to attract patrons with an affinity toward more traditional and formal dress. In fact, the best seats in the house are called the “dress circle,” a nod to a time when European royalty regularly attended the theater. “It’s called the dress circle, but there’s certainly no dictate,” says Vernaci.

With such a variety of programming at PlayhouseSquare — from rock concerts to children’s shows — there are no rules for dressing the part.

Perhaps that’s the reason that a number of local restaurants with dress codes ranging from “no tank tops or shorts” to “jacket required” declined to talk publicly about their restrictions. Few, it seems, are willing to address dress codes for fear of losing potential customers.

But over at PlayhouseSquare and Severance Hall, there’s no need to be concerned about what to wear. Jeans, shorts, tank tops — all are welcome. (From Btbone.com

The Wedding Couple Depart in Good Humor

Couples with theatrical streaks are making sure that their wedding receptions have big opening numbers or dramatic closers. An arrival by helicopter fueled one couple’s big moment; other newlyweds made an impression by departing on a Jet Ski and in an ice cream truck.

A crucial element is surprise, sometimes even for the bride. In May 2010, Katie and Nathan Schwarz left their church ceremony in Lorena, Tex., on an ice cream truck that had been secretly arranged for by the bride’s father, Terry Jones. “I had a dream for Katie to have a special exit from her wedding,” Mr. Jones said. “Then I discovered my friend had an ice cream truck. It was perfect since our family saying is, ‘A home without ice cream is a home without love.’ ”

Hanne and Brian Duncan of Philadelphia, fans of bicycling, met at a race, and their second date was a 60-mile ride. So it seemed fitting for them to leave their wedding last August at Village Presbyterian Church in Prairie Village, Kan., on a tandem. Guests rang bicycle bells as they rode off.

Mrs. Duncan pedaled in her billowing white gown and three-inch pink-and-orange heels. “I practiced beforehand,” she said.

Even so, part of the dress dragged and was streaked with black. “I knew that if my wedding dress didn’t show evidence of a good time,” she said, “then it wasn’t a fun wedding.”